To Homeschool or not to Homeschool...

The more I read and research about homeschooling, the more I feel like that is what will be best for my children.  I used to say there were 2 things in education I would NEVER do.  The first was homeschool and the second was substitute teach.  I'll eat my words on the homeschooling one, but I still don't think you will EVER see me substitute teach.

I am not trying to put anyone down who chooses to put their kids in public school.  I went to public schools.  I taught in public schools.  I know MANY fabulous public school teachers.  I've read 3 books on homeschooling now and I've been reading a lot of blogs and forums, so I feel like I have somewhat of an idea of what I'm getting myself into.  Here are some of the arguments for homeschooling that have caught my attention and helped shape my new opinions.

First off, my children are not the property of the government.  It absolutely blows my mind that if I choose to teach my own children, I have to get permission from the government to do it.  Why is the government so threatened by the fact that I don't want my kids in their schools?  What do they have to gain by my child being enrolled in their schools?  That in and of itself, is a HUGE reason we want our kids at home (or in a nontraditional private school...more of that later).  Rob and I have had many discussions over the past year about the proper role of government and we both strongly feel that telling us what our children have to learn and when and by whom and for how many days of the year is not something the government has a right to do.  I could go on and on about my thoughts on this, but I'll spare you here.  If anyone is up for some good debating, give me a call!  I love it!  That's the end of that soap box...for now :)

Secondly, think about all the extra time your child would save by not going to school.  Time will be saved by not being on a school bus for 30 minutes every morning and afternoon.  Waiting in line to use the restroom.  Waiting until the whole class is paying attention to learn something.  Waiting for another student to be disciplined before the teacher can help anyone else.  Waiting for the whole class to be quiet before walking down the hall.  Waiting for papers to be passed out.  There are literally hours of wasted time at school.  I know first hand, because I taught elementary school for 5 years.  As a basic guideline, at the beginning of each school year, I didn't start teaching new material until 2 weeks after school started.  Those 2 weeks were needed to teach the class the rules, how to line up, how to hold a lunch tray, how to raise their hands, how and when to sharpen their pencils, etc.  This may seem a little over the top, but ask any teacher and they will tell you that in a classroom of 20-30+ students, these things have to be specifically taught.  We would review things from the year before, but the "real" teaching had to wait.  There just wasn't time to do everything.  And not to mention the time saved from not having homework to finish.  Think about all the productive things a child could do with that extra time in the day.

Another thing that is very important to us is that our children develop the skills and creativity needed to become entrepreneurs or innovators or inventors or scientists.  Public schools try to teach kids these things, but there is such a tight limit to what can be taught in a one hour class period.  There is never the time to really get into an experiment or design something or try things and fail and then try it again and fail again and then maybe try it again and finally get it.  I am not trying to put down school teachers, because there is just no way around it.  You cannot do things with a class of 30 kids with a 1 hour or even a 1 day time limit that you could do with your own children or a small group of children in a non school setting.  We want to be able to give our children the experience and opportunity to figure things out, to spend hours working on a project or reading a book that they're interested in.  We don't want our kids to be groomed for traditional jobs.  The way this country is headed, I want to be sure my kids know how and why things work and how to build something from scratch if need be.  Whatever they choose for their eventual careers is fine, but I want them to be exposed to more than just the traditional jobs like doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc from a young age.

Now for the part about socialization.  This seems to be the main reason most people have negative views of homeschooling.  The conclusion that I have come to is that most homeschooling parents want to give their children social interaction and they make every effort to get their children involved with other children.  There are tons of homeschooling groups who get their kids together to socialize.  Homeschooled kids are involved in sports and classes and clubs.  They interact with people of all ages and learn appropriate social interactions within the real world.  Traditional schools have created a false atmosphere of "socialization."  Think about it.  You're in a classroom with children who are all your exact same age.  If you are friends with kids younger than you, you might be teased for hanging out with "babies."  From my experience with 4th grade girls, the drama associated with friendships and social interactions in school is a huge distraction from learning.  But it has to be hard to make true friends in the 15 minutes of time during school when you are actually ALLOWED to socialize.

Yes, I admit that I have met some socially weird homeschooled kids.  But I have also met some socially weird public schooled kids and my heart absolutely breaks for those ones because I've also seen how they are treated and I've been there as a teacher who desperately wants to help them, but my hands were tied because I didn't have documented proof of bullying.  You would be APPALLED if you knew your child were being treated the way I saw some children treated.  So then I would spend my whole day documenting all the bullying I saw in the classroom and that's just more time wasted for the other kids as I wrote down every mean and hateful word or gesture.   All this to get a bully suspended, appease the parents of the victim, and in the end the bully comes back to school even more mean spirited and out for revenge.  I would venture to guess that the self confidence levels of homeschoolers is much higher than those of kids in public school who have to work so hard to fit in or try even harder to stay out of the way of others if they don't fit in.  I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about 1 of my past students in particular and the fact that I didn't and couldn't do more for that child.  He was one of my favorite/brightest students and I fear for what damage mean kids have done to him emotionally (and possibly physically).  I don't know what personalities my children will develop over the years, but I don't want them in that kind of hostile environment 7 hours a day, 180 days a year.

The next issue, I didn't even think about until reading about it in multiple books, but it makes sense.  Many homeschool parents in the books I read talked about how their relationships with their children changed when they moved from traditional school to homeschooling.  Arguments decreased because the stress and pressures of school were removed.  The fights about getting homework done disappeared (I'm sure there is still some of this over getting homeschool work done).  Trying to drag a grumpy kid out of bed early in the morning and get them to school on time became a nonissue.  Being with their child and knowing what they are learning and sharing in that learning became a great relationship builder.  Many parents admitted that they liked their child a lot more.  Homeschooling may not do this for everyone's relationship with their children.  Being home with your child all day may be a nightmare for some parents and/or children.  Homeschooling doesn't work for everyone.  But we feel like it could work for us.  We feel like if we keep our kids home from the start, this healthy relationship can be the norm.  If I look at my child as a real person whose worth is equal to, if not greater than mine, then staying home with them and being around them all the time shouldn't be so hard.  That is not to say that we wouldn't provide other role models and teachers and opportunities for our kids to have a break from us and for us to have a break from them.  But think about the hours and hours you miss with your kids when they attend school full time.  I don't know that I've explained my view of this issue very clearly, but it has been an eye opener to realize that while sending kids off to school all day long is what society expects and accepts, that doesn't mean that it is the best way to raise children.  Its just what has always been done in our modern generations.  Our modern society just hasn't ever tried any other way.

The last realization I will share in this post is about myself.  I have always felt a little regretful that I have not found something that I can really excel at.  I have many talents and many more interests, but I always wanted to have the potential to be great at something.  I am starting to think that the area of my life where I am meant to rise to greatness is in my family.  (A little sappy, I know!)  But I really feel that all the little talents and interests I have are meant to be taught to my children and used to help them grow and develop into well rounded adults with skills to really excel in whatever path they choose.  If you truly want to be great at something you have to work for it like crazy.  I feel like homeschooling might be an area I would enjoy putting all my energy into.  I love learning new things.  I like finding fun ways to teach different concepts.  I love projects.  I love making grand plans.  I love my kids.

I briefly mentioned non traditional schools earlier in the post and I want to share one school that I came across in my research that I think would be amazing to send my kids to.  If I only had $20,000 for the tuition (per child, per year!!) and lived in San Francisco.  I think it would be really fun to start a co-op or even a very small private school like this.

http://sfbrightworks.org/

Thanks for reading (for those of you who still are).  I enjoyed writing this post and getting my thoughts organized.  I welcome any and all comments.  My mind is not 100% made up yet, but I'm 85% sure Adeline will not be going to public school for kindergarten in 2 years...

Lazy Blog

 Love this picture!

This one is pretty funny though!

Our little diva??

This is much more true to Adeline's personality than the previous picture!

We have a fence!  Rob and his dad did a great job!

A sneak peak at the playhouse we've been working on for the kids

This is how Adeline shows her muscles!

We had so much fun with Rob's family in town a couple weeks ago.  Adeline LOVED playing with her cousins.  

We picked a ton of blueberries.  This picture does not even show half of what we picked!  Bobby was in heaven.  I was not when I had to change his diaper the next day...

The kids helping grandpa harvest the potatoes.  I love this picture with Jack throwing one in and Bobby throwing one out.  My kids weren't much help!

Rob being the "fun uncle"

The father's day "cake" we made for the guys.  We celebrated in Sumter with Rob's family.

Adeline at the children's museum dressing up "just like in Fantasia!"  Fantasia is still an obsession at our house.  This is also Adeline's new "pose for the camera face."

My little boy looks all grown up.