Unschooling--Our Way

Now that Adeline is officially kindergarten age, a lot of people have been asking how homeschooling is going.  So I thought I would share what "kindergarten" looks like at our house (spoiler...it looks extremely similar to what we did last year and the year before and the year before!).

Kindergarten is not required in SC, so we just opted out.  I did not join a homeschool accountability group.  They keep you legally covered and some require records of attendance and progress reports and such, but they all cost $, so we'll wait until 1st grade to join one.  So that keeps things more relaxed.

We did join a homeschool co-op that meets once a week.  We have elementary classes for Spanish, Social Studies and Science/Math.  They separate into k-4 and 4-6 grades so there is a huge spectrum of ability.  Its mostly crafts and games.  Bobby goes to a preschool class, and I'm with him most of the day and he really likes it.  Adeline has a love/hate relationship with "school."  We go in 8 week sessions and we've decided to just enroll her in the science/math class next time (her choice).  She gets a bit overwhelmed by all the kids and a lot of the material is over her head and I think she gets confused and lost easily (especially since she is not reading yet).  I am teaching the science class and I'm loving that--especially since this session I get to teach astronomy!!  Its nice to be a teacher for 1 hour a week for a group of kids that don't have to be tested and where I have enough parents in the room that take care any disruptive behavior that happens :)

Adeline's reaction to school has brought up a huge parenting dilemma that I'm not sure how to handle.  I know all parents come across these situations, but I feel like I usually hear more about what parents are supposed to do or should do instead of people admitting that they don't know what to do.  So I'm using my blog to hash out the details of my dilemma, not because I'm looking for advice, but more so I can prove that I'm a real parent with real concerns and not only do I not know what to do, but I also haven't formed a solid opinion on this matter yet either.

So, do I push Adeline to keep going to "school" even though she tells me she doesn't want to go (half of the time)?  Does she just need exposure to new situations to learn how to adapt and be a part of a community?  Will she get used to it after more time?  Or do I need to be more sensitive to her needs and try to understand her insecurities and where they are coming from better?  Should I let her make this choice and show her that I respect her decisions and empower her to make important choices at this young age so she'll be more likely to take responsibility for herself as she gets older?  Will she just become spoiled and rotten if I let her do what she wants?  As a parent, of course I want what is best for my child, but it's really hard to figure out what that is sometimes (all the time!).

For now, we are keeping things super simple.  I've read a few articles that have really resonated with me about the importance of play in these early years.  I feel like society is in such a competitive state that we all feel like our 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 year olds really NEED "school" and that they are going to be behind without it.  I respect the decisions of parents to send their kids to school at whatever age they want.  (Half the time I wish my kids were gone and with someone else for part of the day!)  But I don't like that there are so many expectations that come along with it.  I've actually seen preschoolers who have homework, and to me, that is ridiculous.  But I also don't believe in homework for older kids either...I bet my former students wish I had that belief back when I was teaching school. ;)  I don't believe that kids need to go to preschool to learn how school works and get used to a classroom setting.  I believe that kids that age need to play and explore and have time to entertain themselves.  I watch my kids play and I can see them learning things and figuring things out.  When they are curious about things, they ask me and learning comes naturally.  I don't want my kids to think learning is something that you do at school, that is directed by a teacher while you are sitting in your chair at your desk.

So that is my rant about why I'm not doing formal lessons with my kids or pushing them to learn something that they're not interested in.  Adeline does not have an interest in learning to read yet, and it is killing the teacher in me!  But, we've decided that when she asks and shows interest, we'll do what we can to help her.  We have tons of books and when she's ready, she knows where to find them.  She knows we will help her.  Bobby has very little interest in art.  I'm not going to force him to color pictures, but we have tons of art supplies and when he wants to color, he knows where to find them.

This doesn't mean I don't sneak in some educational things throughout our day though.  The kids love to earn money and Adeline is very interested in counting her money and knowing how much she has all together.  She's learning math this way.  Bobby loves to be silly and loves to do things the wrong way on purpose.  He thinks its funny if I'm counting and I say the wrong numbers.  I can tell how good his counting is by how well he catches my "mistakes."  We also do this on identifying letters.  At preschool the other day he had a paper with letters all over it and the directions said to color all the letter A's.  He thought it was funny to color all the letters that were not A's.  He loved my silly reaction when he colored the wrong letter and so he kept choosing all the wrong letters.  So I know he know's his A's.  It doesn't matter if he followed the directions or not.  Learning happens when they're having fun.

So I still haven't told what a day of kindergarten looks like in our house.  So here's a quick run down of what we did this week.

Monday:  The kids went to Grandma's house in the morning while I went shopping (thanks, Sherie!). They came home and had quiet time upstairs in their rooms (usually 1-2 hours by themselves then 1 hour playing together--sometimes Bobby naps).  I planned my school lesson for the next day.  We took a quick evening trip to the beach since Rob got off work a little early then came home, had dinner and bedtime.

Tuesday: Co-op day.  School from 10-1:30.  Came home, had quiet time then cleaned up the house to earn some money then dinner and bed.

Wednesday: Stayed home all morning.  Kids played inside all morning since it was rainy and I got caught up on cleaning that had been neglected for way too long.  After lunch the kids had a very short quiet time before heading out to dance classes in the afternoon (Adeline is in ballet/tap and Bobby is in a hip hop class).  Came home and went to Grandma and Grandpa's to celebrate Grandma's birthday.

Thursday:  Met up with some friends at the park in the morning.  My kids are almost always the oldest ones at our playdates these days.  Most kids their age are in preschool or school.  Came home for lunch then we picked up Rob from work and took the whole crew to my ultrasound appointment.  I'm sure they learned a lot at my appointment :)  PS...its a girl!  Then we came home the kids tried jump roping for the first time then Grandma came over while Rob and I went out to dinner for a date night for the first time in probably months.  Grandma wins the saint award for this week!

Friday:  Should have gone to the gym, but I couldn't resist going to the fabric store instead to look at cute little girl fabrics (It was the last day of a really good sale).  Rob was able to come meet us for lunch at Chick-fil-A and the kids got a lot of energy out in the play area.  Then it was home for quiet time then painting some crafts we bought at the fabric store, dinner (in front of the TV...), a short dance party and hula hooping then bedtime.

I hope my blog doesn't come off as me bragging about my kids or how wonderful we are at homeschooling.  I want to share our journey because it is very different from traditional education (some might say radical).  I want to encourage people to see that there are many paths and options for education.  Our way will not be the best way but we are trying to find what is best for us and I'm hoping we're on the right track.  I don't want anyone reading this to start comparing their kids to ours.  I am already getting so tired of the parenting competition.  I'm starting to resent the Facebook posts and blogs about how wonderful/smart/athletic/artistic someone else's kids are.  I know I am guilty of these posts in the past (extremely guilty), but I am trying to make a conscious effort to be more generic about my kids.  It is so discouraging as a parent to see other kids excelling where your child struggles.  I don't want to contribute to that competitive environment any longer.  Of course I think my kids are amazing, but I'll try not to brag about their specific accomplishments anymore (notice I said TRY...don't call me out if I slip up!).

And that's how we homeschool...for now at least!

Playing chase at the beach

ipads and iphones at the doctor's office.  Adeline dressed herself.  I feel like I needed to make that disclaimer :)

Counting money

Bobby doesn't like coloring on paper so much, but loves coloring on his body.  If you look closely, you'll see his face and belly "tattoos."

Princess Fashion 5th Birthday Party

Adeline wanted a princess fashion party for her fifth birthday and I have to admit, I had a lot of fun planning it for her.  I know a lot of people who get annoyed at pinterest parties that go way overboard and have ruined regular (easy) birthday parties.  I understand that, but I love to plan stuff like this so I fully admit that I went way overboard.  And I'll pat myself on the back a little bit and say that most of my ideas were MY ideas, not found on pinterest!  I love having a creative outlet and started planning the party at least a month ahead of time.  It was a fun project for me to work on during afternoon naps and quiet time.  So before anyone gets annoyed at my over-achiever birthday party, just remember that it was fun and fulfilling of me, as well as Adeline.  But we still love the easy parties too!  

I still think she seems too little to be 5 already!

Adeline's favorite princesses (when we started planning the party) were Ariel and Aurora, so we went with a pink and teal color scheme.  She also wanted a doll cake so badly and luckily, she already had an Ariel doll so I didn't have to buy a new one!  We kept the snacks simple (pink lemonade, colorful marshmallows, red and pink starbursts, and popcorn) because that was probably the only simple thing about this party ;)

We started the party coloring and "designing" dresses in fashion design sketch books.  I printed off a bunch of black and white sketches of fancy dresses (and some princess sketches as well) and made them into little sketch books for the girls to color as they got to the party. 

In order to incorporate Adeline's recent obsession with fashion and dress-ups I sewed each girl a really simple dress-up skirt in a different princess color.  I found some awesome disney fashion princess images online and put them on white gift bags with tissue paper to match each skirt.  The girls (and Bobby) got to take turns choosing a princess bag and then they all opened them to see their skirts.

Since I had been planning the party way in advance, I made a lot of trips to JoAnn's and Michael's and scoured the clearance racks for fun things for the girls to embellish their skirts with.  There were ribbons, flowers, jewels, iron-on appliqués, and all sorts of little knick-knacks.   Everyone got to choose things to put on their skirts and Rob got to burn his fingers hot-gluing everything on.  I was in charge of the iron-on station, but the girls weren't interested in those as much.  Looking back, we should have had a few glue gun stations going and a little extra adult help for this part, but it still worked out.  The girls would show off their skirts at the fashion show at the end of the party.

 After the skirts were finished, it was time to "design" princess cakes.  I made each girl a princess cake (upside-down jumbo cupcake with fondant skirt and a magi-clip doll in it).  Then we painted the skirts with food coloring paint and cut out fondant shapes to decorated the skirts with.  Thanks so much to my friend Ann for teaching me how to make fondant!  This was my first time trying it.  Luckily 5 year olds aren't too discerning so they didn't notice that it was an amateur job!

The finished princesses!

Adeline's Snow White.

Bobby chose Cinderella and spent most of his time trying to eat the fondant.  We'll have to work on his artistic skills :)

After decorating cakes it was outside to break the piñata.  They make these things strong these days and the kids couldn't crack it, so I had to step in to bust it open.

Adeline was so happy to be with her friends!

After the piñata it was time to get dressed up for the fashion show.  I found some jewel bracelets and hair braid extensions on clearance and the kids had fun getting all bling-ed up.  I invited the parents to come back for the fashion show and cake and ice cream at the end of the party.

The princess lined run-way.  Easy decorations, just printed the pictures and glued them to colored paper.

I tried to convince Bobby to let me make him a prince cape instead of a skirt, but he insisted on a skirt!  And he really loved learning how to pose on the runway.

We took video of Adeline walking the runway, but didn't get any pictures of her in her skirt!  To my surprise, she was very minimalistic when designing her skirt, only adding a ribbon belt at the top and ribbon around the bottom with 1 heart in the middle.  She's always very particular about her clothes and this was no exception.  We found the Barbie song "Get Your Sparkle On" and it couldn't have been more perfect for the fashion show music.  And Adeline is now obsessed with the song and it is always stuck in my head.

After the fashion show it was time for cake and ice cream.

I'm pretty proud of myself with this cake.  I had a lot of fun decorating it.  I didn't have good food coloring, so the purple looks a little bit gray, but Adeline really wanted purple, so I went with it.  Thanks to Ann and lots of youtube videos for helping me learn how to do a cake like this!

Between the princess cupcakes and the big cake, we had tons of cake!  Luckily the parents and siblings who were there helped us get rid of some of it, but we still had tons left over for the next couple days!

A Catch Up Post

First off, a disclaimer.  My camera on my phone stopped working a few months ago and I can only take pictures with the rear-facing (selfie) camera...so some of these pictures are not the best quality.  I really need to get my phone fixed!

Life has been pretty hectic this spring.  Rob was interviewing for fellowship positions for next year and traveling all over.  The kids and I went with him for a few of the interviews.  After the interviews ended, Rob started studying big time for his radiology boards (test).  He had been studying already, but once interviews were over he really started studying ALL THE TIME.  He took his test on the 9th and 10th of June and we couldn't be happier that it is over!  Then earlier this week we found out that Rob matched into the IR fellowship program here at MUSC for next year and we are even more excited about that.

The kids took gymnastics this spring and had a great time.  This was their last day of class.

The kids and I went to Atlanta to see my family over memorial day (while Rob stayed home and studied) and we went to Stone Mountain.  We did a bunch of other fun stuff, but I haven't loaded the rest of the pictures on the computer yet).

Hanging out at the park.

While Rob was traveling and interviewing for fellowships we got to see Hannah and Garrett and had such a great time. 

We've been eating lots of super delicious pizza lately from our pizza oven!

Adeline always has really messy hair.

Our foxglove plant made a mutant super-huge stem of flowers.  Adeline couldn't have been happier.  It was way too heavy to hold itself up, so we had to cut it and bring it inside.

Rob's work had a team at the Dragon boat races and we both participated.  It was a lot of fun to get out and be active!

Bobby loves superheros these days, all the way down to his underwear!

Rob's dad graduated nursing school this spring and John and Ashley and family got to come out.  We had so much fun with them.

Like father, like son.  Bobby loves taking pictures with Rob's camera.

Ashley gave Adeline her first haircut!  She just got a small trim.

The chickens are getting bigger.  We should have eggs in a couple more months!

Inquisitive Little Boy

Bobby's little 3 1/2 year old mind has been working overtime the past week, apparently pondering the deep questions of life.  Here are a few of the questions he asked this week.  All of them seemed completely random to us.  I'm sure there was something that triggered his thinking, but neither Rob nor I could figure out what got these questions in his head.

"Mommy, when will I have a baby in my belly?"  He may have cried when I told him that only girls could have babies in their bellies.  I love my sweet, tender little guy!

"Daddy, will you be sad when I die?"

"When will we all die?"

"Why don't girls have penises?"

"Mommy, who made your body?"

Lets just say that we've had a lot of interesting conversations this week.  This inquisitive stage is fun. I hope he never grows out of it.

Just Say Yes!

In an attempt to be a better parent/homeschooler I am really trying to say yes to my kids more often.  It is surprisingly harder to do than I expected and requires a lot of patience and flexibility on my part. But I'm trying, and I'm happy to report, the more often I say yes, the more real learning happens.  For example, this morning I gave the kids strawberries with their breakfast and Adeline asked if she could have a knife to cut her strawberries into "even more" strawberries.  My first impulse was to say no.  I could have given one of many different excuses (we don't play with knives, just eat them, I don't want to get more dishes dirty, etc.) but instead I stopped myself, thought about it for a few seconds and realized there was no harm in saying yes, and those few seconds of actually thinking before I answered made all the difference.  She got a knife, started cutting and figuring out how many strawberries she now had.  Basic math exploration.  Call it fractions, call it dividing, call it simple counting, call it multiplying, call it fine motor skills.  Whatever you call it, learning was happening.  Of course Bobby had to get a knife too and he joined in on the learning as well.  I didn't have to do anything.  I didn't have to teach a math lesson or force a worksheet on them.  The hardest part of it all for me was to let go and let it happen.  This probably seems like such a silly simple thing, but my first impulse was to say no.  How many times a day do I follow that impulse to say no just because it might make my life a tiny bit easier?  Yes, I had to put 2 extra knives in the dishwasher.  Yes, I had to watch the kids (mainly Bobby) to make sure they didn't hurt themselves with the knives.  But at least I didn't shoot Adeline down before realizing that there was really no harm in saying yes.  As I learn to loosen up and let life happen, my kids learn as well.  Keeping things positive really helps improve the mood in our house.  So my new parenting motto is "Just Say Yes" (unless they ask to stay up past bedtime...that's where I draw the line ;)

Winter Recap--Learning, Playing, Building, Cooking, Eating

I think we will probably still have a few more "cold" (50's) days ahead of us, but I'm going to go ahead and say I'm done with winter, so here's my winter recap of what we've been doing around her lately--homeschool-ish stuff, just for fun, food (of course) and projects.

She had no idea I was teaching her simple division as we sorted out the beans for a rousing game of "Don't Spill the Beans."  Bobby also practiced his counting with the beans. 

I think I'm getting a little too obsessed with eggs.  I buy them every week at the farmers market and usually eat 2 a day.  I crave them.  I did a quick search online to see how many eggs it is okay to eat per day and didn't really get any good answers (no one can agree apparently).  I may have had 2 for breakfast this morning and 2 more for lunch...at least most of the eggs I have been eating are fresh eggs, which are definitely more healthy.  But they usually don't even last a full week before I've eaten them all!  Especially now that Rob is around in the mornings too (he's working a 1pm-9pm shift this month).

Playing with clay.  Rob bought a bunch of clay for his brick oven so we made some clay balls for sculpting.

Trying a daily schedule.  I don't want to have specific lessons planned out or anything, but I thought it might be nice to have a little bit of structure.  It worked well for about 2 days but when I asked Adeline if she wanted to make a schedule for the next day she said "no, we've already done that enough."  Maybe we can keep up with this a couple times a week.  I made all the signs, so if you want to try it too, email me and I'll send you the file.

Practicing letters.  I think he said he was drawing lines to connect the letters to make a letter machine.  He is not interested in learning letters at all yet.

Making shape robots with our sand.

Puzzle time.  

"Dressing up as a dragon."  At least that's what Adeline said she was doing.  She wanted to color him like a rainbow dragon.  They usually draw all over themselves at least 2 times a week.  We've learned to pick our battles and if the kids want to be "tattooed" up, we just let it happen.  At least they're playing together nicely and being creative.

Cookies!!  It is very bad that the kids love to bake cookies because I always want to as well.  So pretty much whenever they ask if we can make some, we end up with a freezer full of cookie dough balls!  We usually cook enough for us each to eat 1 or 2 and then scoop the rest of the dough onto a sheet with parchment and stick them in the deep freeze until they harden and then put them in zip locks in the freezer.  So then after the kids go to bed, Rob and I can pop 4 cookies in the oven and have delicious warm cookies in the evenings!  These frozen cookie balls have come in handy multiple times when I need to bring a snack or dessert somewhere, I can just bake up a quick batch without making the kitchen a mess.

More sand play with the mini muffin tins.

Its educational because I pulled out the alphabet cookie cutters!

Bobby loves to play in water and I came outside one day and he was "playing sink and float."  It makes me so happy to see my kids "experimenting" on their own.

Counting money that the kids had been saving up for Disney World.  Money is something Adeline has not caught onto very quickly yet.  She still confuses most of the coins.  I think we might need to start playing "store" more often.

A few days after we got back from Disney World, Adeline was quietly drawing on the easel and when she was finished so was so excited to show me what she drew.  She wanted me to label them for her (in case you can't read them: Mexico, Africa, North Pole, and our house--United States of America.  We had talked about Mexico a little before going to Disney.  I had high hopes of teaching the kids about all the countries at Epcot before we went, but we only got through Mexico...but that little "lesson" stuck!  I love her African grasslands with a bug in the grass.  I'm guessing she picked this up from Animal Kingdom (and I'm sure she's had other exposure from books and movies).

Adeline wanted to experiment with water temperatures.  She put one cup with more water than the other and tested the temperatures to see if it made a difference.  It did.  And on another note, if you don't have a good meat thermometer, I HIGHLY recommend one.  We love ours and use it all the time.

A Picnic on a warm day.  

The huge snowstorm ;)  We actually didn't get snow, just little balls of ice.

Bobby and his bag of ice that he and Adeline collected.

Shoveling "snow" is hard work.

We built a fire and toasted marshmallows.

Making pretzels with the kids.

So remember how I'm obsessed with eggs?  I guess its a good thing we're raising chickens now!  Rob and his dad bought a bunch of chicks (all hens for eggs).  12 of these little guys are ours.  Unfortunately, we won't have eggs for another 6 months.  We plan to let the kids do a lot to take care of the chickens, so hopefully it is a good experience.  Adeline is planning to name them all after Disney princesses.

They're pretty cute.

Playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I can't wait for the kids to get just a little older and be able to play and explore more outside on their own.  This is the perfect yard for exploring and having adventures.

The dome of the brick oven is formed!  This is the sand form.

And here are the bricks that covered the form.  Once it sets for a while Rob will add another layer of insulation on top of this and we'll make it look nice.  He also still needs to add in the chimney at the front.  Then we just have to get the sand out and start cooking!  I can't wait for this to be done!

My best game of wordament ever!  I had to take a screen shot.  I've only ranked in the top 100 players maybe 1 or 2 other times but I couldn't believe I was ranked number 72 out of 1851 players!!!  I love this stupid game and waste way too much time playing it.  And don't judge Hannah for her low score...she must have started this round after most of the time was already up ;)